Amanda Houle: The Secret to Positive Parenting
Date Of Show: August 28, 2020
Amanda Houle: The Secret to Positive Parenting
Parenting is difficult… but our children are here to teach us some of the biggest lessons in life. How can we reciprocate this to create mutually beneficial relationships? On today’s episode, we discuss why communication, expectations, and working to reach shared understanding with our children is crucial for protecting everyone’s sanity.
How does one dump the old-school methods of parenting and adopt a more positive, productive parenting practice?
What can I do to deescalate a tantrum?
How can I create peace and harmony in my home during the 2020-2021 school year?
When is the best time to address behavioral challenges?
Karen Morales welcomes Holistic Child Specialist, Amanda Houle, to speak about the common struggles that parents have with emotionally charged and emotionally reserved children, as well as how to address these struggles and turn them into opportunities for learning and growing.
You’re not expected to be the perfectly positive parent every minute of every day, but there are small steps you can take to restore balance and ease in your home. Tune into this week’s episode for advice on understanding where your children are coming from, practicing effective communication, and helping them develop emotional intelligence.
3 MAJOR POINTS DISCUSSED
It’s okay to have emotionally charged and/or emotionally reserved children. Strong-willed children are truly a gift from above and our kids come into this world to teach us lessons. Amanda talks about how sometimes a child’s sensory nervous system is a factor in their temper, such as kids getting upset and feeling intense sensation in their body when they don’t get what they want. Because they cannot express what they’re feeling, children are often not able to calm themselves down without an adult to teach them how to regulate their emotions and sensations. Children who are less sensitive and expressive may have similar experiences of not being able, or even willing, to express themselves and we must honor that. It’s important to recognize that that’s who they are and to let them know that it’s okay to talk about things. Amanda recommends journaling for more reserved children to foster that release and build the confidence to talk about things.
Open communication is key to reaching peace and harmony in your home. How you interact with each other matters. It’s easy for a parent to say, “You need to calm down,” but this doesn’t create a shared understanding between the parent and child. It’s important to work towards understanding where the child is coming from, from a developmental perspective, and to be the one that teaches emotional regulation. Find one mindful tool that you can utilize as a family to find your center for the day and try to build it into your routine with the most consistency you can. Whether it be two minutes of silence, music and dancing, a journaling session, or a walk around the neighborhood… whatever works to foster communal ease for your family can make a huge difference.
Aggressive, old-school parenting doesn’t work anymore. It may be difficult to give up control, especially when your child is throwing a tantrum, but breaking the cycle of old-school parenting is essential. What worked in the past, doesn’t work now. We need to learn to understand each other without having a control battle and children need to learn how to handle expectations or rules. Kids also internalize the parents’ actions and words, so it’s important to be mindful of how your choices can affect them later on. Amanda offers great insight into these concepts, with examples of what may work to deescalate your child’s tantrums.
OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE
● Why is this country so polarized? [00:44]
● What is positive parenting? [4:40]
● The importance of creating a shared understanding [6:12]
● How to start the conversation between two opposing people, like a mom and misbehaving child [10:02]
● Inside the minds of high energy, emotionally charged children [14:34]
● Our children are our teachers [19:41]
● Children can feel what is unsaid [22:04]
● What about the less sensitive and expressive, more calm children? [23:40]
● Is it common to have children that are on extremely different ends of the energetic spectrum? [26:02]
● One tip for any family to foster peace and harmony in the 2020-2021 school year [28:33]
● How to deescalate a tantrum [32:43]
● Aggressive, old-school parenting doesn’t work anymore [34:52]
● What’s the best age to address these challenges? [43:25]
● Why parents started coming to Amanda for help + How to contact her [44:42]
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Amanda is a Holistic Child Specialist and is continually inspired to work with parents and children to help them succeed and feel empowered. Amanda works with ages 2-18 years old. She is the host of the podcast, Mindful Parenting.
Amanda has a BS in Psychology from Northeastern University. She then received her MS degree from Touro College with a dual degree in General and Elementary Special Education with a specialization in Early Childhood. Amanda is a former Special Education Itinerant Teacher (SEIT) in NYC.
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